It’s a question in life that you never REALLY want to answer:
When is it time to end a relationship?
Things build up. Something feels off. The magic has faded. Or maybe you’re just not happy anymore. Whatever it is that’s causing this burning question to rise to the top – it’s not going away. So you have to figure out if this skepticism is permanent, or just a phase. Tough call.
Relationships have rough patches all the time. In fact, I call them “growing pains.” Many relationships hit tumultuous times when two big personalities are adjusting to one another. It’s normal. So, trust me when I say: not every rough patch means the relationship should be over.
Alas, the question remains: When is it actually time to end a relationship? When is a rough patch no longer a rough patch, but a pattern?
Here is how you know when it’s time to end a relationship:
You don’t like yourself in the relationship
You know how colors look differently when lined up next to each other? Your blue eyes POP when you’re wearing navy, hunter green, or purple – but they glaze over when wearing white or gray. The same happens with people.
People can complement our personalities in vastly different ways. Some can bring out the funny side of you, while others encourage that vulnerability and authenticity to seep out. Your partner has the most influence over this dynamic – so be honest with yourself when you ask – do you like yourself in this relationship?
Is your best self coming to light, or are you consistently coming face to face with your unfavorable side?
We all have flaws. We all have demons. It’s not that we want to completely erase them – but we don’t want to highlight them, either. And if our partner consistently brings out the worst in us, it’s going to be hard to thoroughly enjoy the relationship.
I want to make one thing exceptionally clear: this isn’t necessarily your partner’s fault. Your partner most likely cannot help how their personality complements yours. But regardless – you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel like a better person for it.
There isn’t perceived equity in effort
Do you feel like you’re carrying the relationship? Are you the one always reaching out? Making plans? Showing affection? Sharing stories? Geeze. You must be exhausted.
People share and receive love in different ways. Your relationship does not need to be quid pro quo down the line. But if you don’t perceive that the relationship is equal – that is a massive problem.
Everyone is busy. Everyone has baggage. Everyone has obligations. But when you’re in