Being a perfectionist can be exhausting. Always having to be “on,” not allowing for any mistakes whatsoever, and dealing with the crippling anxiety that follows any failure….whew. We hear you and we see you. In fact, most of our life coaches AND clients are recovering perfectionists still trying to do the work. Which is why why we are determined to provide you with tips on how to stop being a perfectionist.
We’ve also realized that it’s wayyyy more common than you think. And it’s really not all that surprising.
If you think about it, we’ve been trained to be perfect our whole lives. We went to school on time, never talked in class, got straight A’s on our homework, and were constantly reassured that we were doing a great job. This pattern followed us through elementary school, to middle school, to high school, and even into college. Maybe sometimes we exchanged our A’s for B’s in our tough classes, and occasionally we got grounded from time to time, but overall, perfectionism wasn’t so hard to achieve.
And then we graduated.
Oy. Whatta blow. All of a sudden we need the perfect job, the perfect apartment, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect salary, and we need it yesterday. Because that’s how our life is supposed to unfold, right? High heels – high standards. The perfect girl’s dream.
But it doesn’t work like that. Because perfect isn’t real.
What we thought was “perfect,” was really just us putting in some effort and getting some decent results. And honestly, the stakes really weren’t that high. It was easy. We were given a formula, we were told how to succeed, and we followed the rules. Plug and chug, girl. But after school – our sacred formula disappeared. It just evaporated into thin air and left us alone and clueless. That little a-hole brat.
So now, it’s our job to decide on what “perfect” really means. And instead of creating that definition ourselves, we’re looking to everyone else. And so, the rat race begins.
Society will always dictate some ridiculous standard of perfectionism. I can’t control that, and neither can you. But we can try to fight it off to the best of our ability. So, here are some ways on how to stop being a perfectionist, and start being a happy human.
Appreciate the process
You’ve heard it so many times – focus on the journey, not the results. But all you’re really thinking when you hear that cliché is, “If I don’t focus on the results, how can I even know what I’m working towards?” Solid question, friend.
What that quote really means, is divide your attention