Adulting is hard. So is having a quarter life crisis.
We all know this. We graduate from college, our formula for success ends, and we have to scramble to figure it out for ourselves. Within a few weeks we’re expected to know how to cook, pay bills, get up early every morning, hold ourselves accountable, exercise, hold down a job, save money, and maintain healthy social relations.
HOLY $&*# THAT IS A LOT.
Nobody deals with this transition perfectly – not even close. At some point or another, between the time we graduate from school to the time we really feel like we have it all together – it sucks. We feel inadequate, left behind, and lost. But how do you know if it’s just a quick phase, or an actual crisis?
Here is how to tell if you are having a quarter life crisis.
1. You Hate Sundays
Ah, the ‘Sunday scaries’. That itchy, antsy, uncomfy feeling you get when you realize tomorrow is Monday. Monday is not good. In fact, Monday is never good. Monday means you have to go to the job you hate. Or stay at home figuring out your next step while your friends go to work. Maybe it’s the harsh reminder that the real world is calling your name, and you are desperately trying to ignore it. But whatever Monday brings – you do not like it one bit.
Typically, if we hate Mondays, it’s not really because we have to get up early in the morning. I mean that sucks, don’t get me wrong, but that’s not really it. If we truly hate Mondays, it’s because we are unhappy with how our week plays out. The weekends are great – we get to escape the constant fear, anxiety, and nerves that adulting brings – but Monday pushes all of that aside and makes us face our reality.
And guess what? It’s normal. But it’s not fun. So ideally, it’s time to push past this phase of your life and get to a place where Monday’s aren’t so bad. Hey, they might even be great.
2. Visualizing the Future is Difficult
Where do you see yourself next week? What about six weeks from now? Six months from now? 2 years from now? Can you be specific? Really dive into what you visualize for yourself. Describe your job, your relationship, your living situation, your trajectory.
It can be really hard sometimes—especially when you have no idea what direction you’d like to chase.
Humans naturally like forward progression. We like to know we are going somewhere. It doesn’t matter if you’re a planner or not – we ALL feel better when we have some sort of clue as to what our lives will hopefully look like in the future. That’s why we save money. That’s why we wear sunscreen. That’s why we eat healthy (or try to). We like thinking forward – we like wondering what will make us happy later on in life. So if we feel like we aren’t going anywhere – well that can be a mood killer. And a major side effect of the quarter life crisis.
3. You Feel Like Time is Against You
Everyone has that moment in time – that scary realization that they have reached the age where they thought they would have their lives figured out. It’s truly frightening. All of a sudden, time is a big deal. Before, it felt like time couldn’t pass us by faster! We wanted to drive. We wanted to vote. We wanted to drink. And after all of that…we still had some years left to experiment in a socially acceptable way. But then…25 hits. 28 hits. 32 hits. 35 hits. Whatever your number is – it’s arrived and flying by rather quickly. And all of a sudden, this anxiety about being “old” attacks with full force. You feel like you are actually running OUT of time instead of having too much of it. And the panic starts to set in.
Breathe. You might be behind schedule in your eyes – but we promise, you still have time to figure everything out. It’s just important to not lean into anymore “throw away” years and really focus on what it is what you want. It’s time to focus.
4. You “Should” Yourself
It’s a natural phenomenon. We freak out about getting older. Anxiety ensues. And without question, the should-ing begins.
I should have a boyfriend.
I should have more money.
I should have a better title.
I should be happier.
It’s cruel, really. We had this imaginary life planned in our head when we were 16, and for some reason we just can’t let it go when 26 rolls around. Where is our fairy tale life?! Where is the money and the love and the accomplishments we swore we would have by now?
Honestly, our decade old expectations probably weren’t even realistic. And more than likely, we didn’t have concrete goals set in place to reach them. But either way, we can’t stop beating ourselves up over it. And it SUCKS.
This constant bully we have in our minds won’t let up, and it’s taking its toll. Life is hard enough with impossible standards and sky-high expectations, so let’s not encourage it from within. It’s time to crack down on the should-ding and embrace the accepting.
5. You Get Anxiety on Social Media
Facebook used to be fun, right? We posted pictures about what we did on the weekends, wrote on each other’s walls and commented on funny articles. But now Facebook is just a big fat picture of what we’re missing out on. Everyone is engaged. Or married. Or pregnant. And while you are happy for them, you’re also wondering when the hell things will start happening for you. Social media has become a place where you confirm your own self-doubt and insecurities – not a place of mutual sharing and excitement. We look forward to the day where we can go online and share our own accomplishments – but for some reason nothing seems good enough to post.
But…that’s not entirely true. A lot is going on in your life right now – you’re just struggling on how to communicate about it. And you know what? Social media probably isn’t the safest place anyway. Just remember that perception isn’t always reality – and to keep focusing on yourself.
6. You Want to Change Something Big
Enough is enough. You’re over it. You’re tired of feeling sorry for yourself, you’re tired of feeling left behind, and you’re tired of not having any answers. The problem is – you’re not exactly sure what to change, or how to change it. It’s really hard!! Quitting your job is scary. Meeting someone new is intimidating. Saving money can seem impossible. But something MUST give, because you can’t stand this funk for much longer.
YOU’VE GOT THIS GIRLS!
Don’t forget – if you really want to push through this Quarter Life Crisis, then you gotta get our FREE eBook to learn how to conquer this time of your life and finally feel like your life has purpose. Grab your copy below!